Arguing with my mother is pointless
and in truth it’s really not arguing, it’s more of her yelling at you about your flaws. It’s like illegal to get fucking mad or upset or sad or just have fucking emotions at all in this house because the second you show signs of them my mom chastises you for having them. If i want to be upset, let me be upset, don’t you fucking get mad at me for being motherfucking upset. If I am not hurting anyone but myself then let me be upset. Let me be upset at the fact that I don’t have a room in my own house, let me be upset at the fact that you only care about money, let me be upset that I am living out of a suit case in my own house, let me be upset that we have a perfectly good room and you want to give it to my fucking aunt that is a cunt, let me get upset to the fact that you still allow the man who fucking tried to rape me and fucking molested me around my house, and finally let me be upset to the fact that as of today I DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING BED to sleep on because the kids are getting mine and G.G.’s bed and G.G. is getting stefs old bed and that leaves me bedless. But no she doesn’t let you get upset, she quickly tells you that everything that is making you upset is your fault and that she can’t do shit about it, and that when you get upset you mess everything up and blah blah blah, and then she tells you that she has supported you in everything in your life and has been easy on you. REALLY? REALLY? Alright, for three years of my life you sent me to south carolina to live with my aunt, because you couldn’t “handle my behavior”, I was in fucking kindergarten, what I MOVED MY CLIP FROM THE HAPPY FACE TO THE SAD FACE ONCE!? that’s not called support, that’s called you not wanting me around and the few times you came to visit I cried my eyes out telling you I wanted to come home, and you said no. Okay, how about me wanting to act, for once in my life I found something that I loved doing, that i had a real passion for and was actually good at and you didn’t come to one of my shows, you had no faith in me that I could do anything with it, you laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a professional actress, that’s not support, by anyone’s definition, that’s you being a BITCH. I wanted to go to school in Savannah, what did you say, figure out how to pay for it yourself. So I did, I payed for everything, without your mother fucking help. That is not support, support is telling someone they can do something without hesitation, support is not yelling that you hope they make a lot of money in the future because they are spoiled people. No, I am not spoiled because you yourself know that I have worked for everything I have. I wanted clothes, I work to get them, I need stuff for school, I work to get them, I want to go out, I work to have spending money. I pay my cell phone bill, I am gona start paying car insurance, and I will pay that stupid car if that’s what it takes for you to be happy, because really money is the only thing that makes my mother happy. The house being clean, doesn’t matter, me cooking every night doesn’t either, because according to you I don’t appreciate you. fuck you mother, seriously fuck you.
I really need to fucking drink or do something ASAP, before I fucking go insane. Seriously.
This summer, I feel is going to suck
It’s already bad enough that I had to come home. I hate being here, it literally makes me sick. I can’t stand my mother, I can’t stand my stupid cunt face aunt, and I especially can’t stand my stupid irresponsible sister Ana. The only two people I can stand is Stef who is moving out and Genesis and well even she irks me sometimes. I can’t stand that my mother only cares about money, and it fucking sucks, I feel that my mothers house would be the one place I wouldn’t have to worry about money, but nope it’s the one place I worry about it most. So now to have my own room in my house I have to pay rent and bills. Like really, she didn’t want me stay in Savannah because I would have to pay rent and bills and that’s what she wants me to do here. FUCK that shit, I would rather pay to have my own place and peace of mind where i wouldn’t have to deal with all the bullshit here, and be in Savannah where I actually have friends.
Oh yeah fuck Kruti, fuck Erica, fuck all of them. Cool, yeah don’t fucking call me back, I mean I don’t want to hang out with you guys fuck you guys, really. The only friends I really have up here are Claire and Taylor, but they do have jobs and shit to pay, but what’s everyone else excuse for not eve fucking calling me back. Ugh fuck you Juan, seriously I don’t want to have sex with you and know you don’t want to fucking talk to me? Alright you fuck face asshole. Seriously FUCK EVERYONE. can I please just go back to Savannah?
fuck my “friends”, truth be told they were never really my friend. fuck you guys, thanks for calling me back
Abraham doesn’t even wana give me a bunny kiss goodbye anymore! Meh he’s growing up and getting embarrassed, it’s ok I will just tell all his future girlfriends that I changed his dippers and show them his naked bathtub pictures. haha ohh yeah I am the cool aunt!
